Worst Biography Titles Ever. And in some cases, stories that shouldn’t be told in the first place. Case in point, #1 on our list, which inspired the research for these other gems of biographic nature. These are in no particular order, as each one is completely awful in it’s own right. Enjoy.
- STori Telling -Tori Spelling
- Fire on Ice: The Exclusive Inside Story of Tonya Harding -The Oregonian Staff
- Sly Moves -Sylvestor Stallone
- If I Did It -OJ Simpson
- Inside Inside -James Lipton
- Landing on My Feet: A Diary of Dreams -Kerri Strug
- I Am Not Spock -Leonard Nimoy
- I Am Spock -Leonard Nimoy
- Don’t Hassle the Hoff -David Hasselhoff
- Angry Blonde -Eminem
- Mr. T: The Man with the Gold -Mr. T
- They Made a Monkee Out of Me -Davy Jones
- I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed: Reworking the Body Politic from the Bottom Up -Jesse Ventura
- A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity -Bill O’Reilly
Is there a story here to tell? And if so, who on Earth is BUYING?!
Everyone of you should be fired for a.) writing this b.) admitting to writing it. My guess is this was done on a bet stemming from a drinking game that came from having to take a shot every time someone said “Gillooly.”
Technically this is about how to get in shape. The constant interjection of personal stories and filmography is what makes it a “biography.”
Seriously? If?
Isn’t the point of Inside to get inside? Why do we need to go inside inside? Doesn’t the laws of physics prevent this?
Should have been called “I Need Money for Surgery.”
Yes, you ARE.
SEE?
Then don’t let people film you wasted, shirtless and scarfing down a Big Mac.
At first I thought this was Gwenyth Paltrow’s autobiography.
There and Back Again: An Actor’s Tale -Sean Astin
HAAAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAA! That’s why. Stupid hobbits-is.
I am highly suspicious that all that gold is real. Or perhaps it is a metaphor for the gold within?
Awww, someone report this to PETA! Mr. Jones is working at The Cannery in Las Vegas! Poor Monkee.
So many things wrong with this, where to start? OK, how about total abuse of the English language, corny wrestling lingo, way too long title and dammit, when is Carl Weathers going to run for something?!
Publishes next month, but does it really need to? Better hurry up and get it though. Stale or rotten humanity is the worst. The bold stuff goes bad quicker too. Especially when it’s evil.
Find your favorite awful biography on Amazon.



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I think there should be a personality profile associated with these. Some of these fit days of my life….and what my mood is
Today I feel like “don’t hassle the hoff” Happy friday!
“Cheer up, Sleepy Jean/Oh, what can it mean/to a daydream believer and a homecoming queeeee-ee-ee-een”
Thank you, Davy Jones, for spawning a swath of annoying covers of “Daydream Believer” being crammed into :30 TV spots.
I love it! ZOMG.